Blogsy Test…

Checking out Blogsy to see if it works better than the WordPress app.

…of the year.

Ok, obligatory list time. (except I forgot to finish it and now I don’t care anymore.)

Sportsman of the Year: Michael Vick. Sure not the best pet owner ever, but seriously, have you seen him play this year. If two years in the joint would give me that talent, I’d string up a Poodle right now. Hon. Mention: Cliff Lee, for saying “fuck you” to the Yankees and the Sox.

Video Game of the Year: Red Dead Redemption. Never has such a little piece of plastic given so much. Absolutely incredible. Hon. Mention: Alan Wake.

Movie of the Year: Inception. Even if you didn’t understand it, it was fun to watch. BTW, can we all agree now that Avatar fucking sucked?

Junk Food of the Year: Dill Pickle Pringles. Fucking awesome.

Song of the Year: Cee Lo Green’s masterful “Fuck You”. Catchy, eloquently stated and delivers it’s message perfectly.

This is only a test…

This is a test of the WordPress iPod app. Please don’t bother reading it. Unless you’re REALLY bored, in which case I suggest tuning in to SportsCenter or Food Wars or whatever it is you would normally watch at 8pm on a Tuesday night. Hey, Throne Of Blood is on TCM… go watch that.
Seriously, I won’t be writing anything interesting here.
Try back tomorrow.

Gotta go watch Top Gear on the DVR.

Big (dumb) Ben…

I’m not suggesting IN ANY WAY that any women ever “asks for it”, but think about it for a second Ladies.
A famous guy (a football player, maybe) comes into a club with his “posse” or “crew” and demands a section of said club be roped off so they (the guy and his “boyz”) can only admit hand-picked young women into the aforementioned roped-off area to “party”.
Do you think for even a second, something bad might happen??
35-40 years ago when some roadie picked a girl out of the crowd to come backstage to meet Mick or Keith or Jimmy or Robert, I’m pretty sure she knew they weren’t going to have cookies and milk and play Old Maid.
That said, Ben Roethlisberger is an idiot and probably guilty of something, even if it’s just being an embarrassment to the Steelers.

Kurt, Mark and the Suicide Solution…

Ok, I’m really starting to hate the whole “tortured artist” suicide thing. Not because we lose some great talent but because it’s all bullshit.

“Oh poor me, I am talented and adored by my fans. I get to live a dream few people do. I get to express myself and entertain hundreds/thousand/millions with my thoughts. Sadly however, I’m sooo sensitive and feel so much that I can’t possibly go on living in this cruel world.”

Fuck you.
Try waking up everyday and going to a job you hate, coming home to your shitty apartment, struggling to pay your bills and just getting by day to day. (not to imply this is me at all, I’m quite content, thank you.)
It’s called REAL LIFE.
Everyone has problems, whether they admit it or not. When the guy who works at Jiffy Lube hangs himself, or the girl who’s waiting tables at Denny’s swallows a bottle of pills, no one cares. But when Kurt Cobain or Mark Linkous or even the guy from Milli Vanilli decides life isn’t worth living it’s a huge tragedy and a massive loss of talent, what ever will we do?? (ok, maybe not the Milli Vanilli guy, but you know what I mean.) I’m not saying your average depressed rockstar should buck up and be happy ’cause he’s rich. It’s true that money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy therapy. (not to mention the fact that performing/songwriting/etc. would seem to be a pretty good form of expression and smashing a guitar or amp has got to be a great stress reliever.)
Keith Richards said it best… “All the crap you have to put up with, how bad is it really?” Wise words, even from a guy who took a LOT of drugs.

Ok, ok…. I’m working on it.

A new post, that is. I actually started to write something pithy, but then I remembered it’s Monday and Top Gear is on.
Stay tuned.

I’m back..

.. I think. Not sure. Try again later.

Oh great, ANOTHER way to waste my time…

…now I’m Facebooking, or whatever you call it.

Lying is bad….

…but. If you must do it (and let’s face it, there ARE times when you need to.) here’s a few helpful hints to ease the process.

1) The Costanza rule. As stated by George Costanza, “It’s not a lie, if you believe it.” (see also the 1986 NY Mets “Ya gotta believe!”) Basically you’ve got to believe in your lie and have confidence it will work, all the time, every time.

2) Have said lie/excuse prepared in advance whenever possible. Don’t lie on the fly. Keeping a mental excuse rol-a-dex is a must.

3) NEVER volunteer information. Keep things simple. Answer any questions with the least amount of information necessary.

4) Avoid involving others in your lie/excuse. Karma counts. It’s perfectly acceptable to say you missed work because you were sick when you just wanted to stay home and play video games all day, but faking a child’s illness as an excuse is bad and WILL come back to bite you in the ass.

Too busy with…

… work, school, sleep, XBOX, cooking, cleaning and so on and so forth.
Got no time for you.
The whole “back-east-Christmas-with-the-families” thing a MAJOR ball-buster. Special thanks to Delta Airlines for canceling our flight home on NEW YEAR’S EVE so we had the opportunity to ring in 2009 at the lovely JFK Holiday Inn in Queens. Big ups to Gino’s Pizza on 132nd street for the AMAZING pie. I’d also like to thank the brewers of Blue Moon Ale and whoever got the idea to put TV sets in the backs of airplane seats. I’ll NEVER fly again.